Dear John Quotes

A friend gifted me a Nicholas Sparks book for Christmas, and being the sappy, mushy person I am, ate it all up. Be warned, though, this does not have a happy ending. It's more darn realistic than any Fifty Shades book (more on that on another post). 

So for those who love Nicholas Sparks books, this is a must read and wasn't bad compared to the movie too. It helped that Channing Tatum was in it, yeah.

Here are some quotes I love:

“I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.” 

“You're a hero and a gentleman, you're kind and honest, but more than that, you're the first man I ever truly loved. And no matter what the future brings, you always will be, and I know that my life is better for it.”

“When I think of you and me and what we shared, I know it would be easy for others to dismiss our time together as simply a by-product of the days and nights we spent by the sea, a "fling" that, in the long run, would mean absolutely nothing. Thats why I don't tell people about us. They wouldn't understand, and I don't feel the need to explain, simply becasue I know in my heart how real it was... how real this is. When I think of you I cant help smiling, knowing that you've completed me somehow. I love you, not just for now, but for always, and I dream of the day that you'll take me in your arms again."

“Love should bring joy, it should grant a person peace, but here and not, it was bringing only pain.” 

To my dear John, I need to make this painful choice because I think I need to heal by myself. The last line speaks for itself. I need time to think, to discover me again, and just be free. With time and distance, I will forget the bad memories. But when we meet again I hope we have a better chance of working things out.

Broken

Broken. Damaged. Healing.




Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.


Lord Jesus, I love you, thank you for bearing my burden on the cross. I ask that you take these inner hurts, painful memories, and emotional wounds from me right now. I submit them to you, and accept your peace in place of those things which I am giving up.

The P124 Bill

Okay, let's move on from the negative vibes from last post becuase I have so much to be thankful for today.

Thank you so much for letting me have a semi-vacation that I badly needed. Although it didn't have to be in the form of a hospital stay, but it was still a breather somewhat. I was worried about expenses, since 3 years ago our hospital bill was nerve-wracking. But our 5-day hospital stay cost a measly Php 124, and everything else was covered by our Intellicare card. I am just amazed and speechless how God works for the good of those who love Him.


All of my days
I will sing of Your greatness
All of my days 
I will speak of Your grace
All of my days 
I will tell of Your wondrous love
Your love in my life

-Hillsong

An Open Letter to my Stalker

I don't know where else to write. I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you or exchange vile replies via text. But thank you for making me feel that my marriage is worth fighting for, because no matter what lies you come up with up, what matters is that I and my husband are still together. 

I really feel bad that you have to stalk me like this, hindi naman ako artista. Should I feel honored? Actually, I'm disgusted at your lowly tactics. You sound so desperate that you don't even have any self-worth and dignity left. I hope for your sake you will move on from your delusions of having a married man for yourself because you can never find someone to fall in love with that way. 

Someday I will find it in my heart to forgive, but not now, when the wound you inflicted two years ago has not even healed yet and you want to scrape it anew. You will understand it yourself when you get married. More often that not, there's always consequences for the actions you do now. But that is not for me to judge.

But you know, even if you planted evil, I will not return your bad deeds. As Exodus 14:14 says, The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. I have anchored my life and my trust in God; I will never be shaken. Why should I be afraid? Thanks to you, my faith increased, my walk with God is closer, and my marriage stronger than before. I really hope you read this. As for me, I will only think of positive and uplifting thoughts and I claim 2013 to be a year of peace for me. 

Psalm 35

¹ Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me;
    fight against those who fight against me.
² Take up shield and armor;
    arise and come to my aid.
³ Brandish spear and javelin
    against those who pursue me.
Say to me,
    “I am your salvation.”

⁴ May those who seek my life
    be disgraced and put to shame;
may those who plot my ruin
    be turned back in dismay.
⁵ May they be like chaff before the wind,
    with the angel of the Lord driving them away;
⁶ may their path be dark and slippery,
    with the angel of the Lord pursuing them.

⁷ Since they hid their net for me without cause
    and without cause dug a pit for me,
⁸ may ruin overtake them by surprise—
    may the net they hid entangle them,
    may they fall into the pit, to their ruin.
⁹ Then my soul will rejoice in the Lord
    and delight in his salvation.

The Best Gift this Christmas

I've had many trying days, but last Monday was really the most difficult of all. My son Javie was confined at the hospital due to pneumonia. At the same time I had a stalker who continually did nothing but send text messages specifically to ruin our marriage. Sometimes I feel helpless and hopeless. That's why I nearly broke down when I read the daily devotional from Proverbs 31.org, titled The Hardest Days — God Uses Them for Good. I know God is trying to tell me something amidst this trial. More than material things, God wants to tell me that the greatest gift I will receive this Christmas is a strong family, a stronger marriage, and a stronger faith in God. I will be able to rejoice in this trial because I trust in Him completely. He will provide for the hospital. He will repair our marriage, and give renewed strength and hope for 2013. I claim that "Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life - Psalm 23:6

I hold fast to you Lord, as per your promise.
Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Random Acts of Kindness

I came across Krissy’s blog about the Charms of Christmas in Ayala Malls where you get a charm bracelet exclusively designed by Ana Rocha when you do the following kindness (see photo above)

That was nice, definitely to promote the love this season, but I just found it awkward and weird for you to get a charm bracelet when you get noticed for your random act of kindness. Wait, should I wait for someone first before I do this? I someone watching me yet? Uhm, it just looks superficial. But at least you get a charm bracelet. Haha.

Anyway this whole month of December my family and I are participating in a Christmas Bible Study Guide which you can find in Good morning girls website, and the ebook really is interesting. It contains daily devotions, Christmas recipes, and suggested Christmas readings and activities for you and your family to understand what Christmas is really about.

In Week 2 we are discussing about Love and Random Acts of Kindness. We have a Jesus jar, and we filled it with slips of paper with random acts of kindness that we have to do everyday. Just something simple, like praying for a friend in need, sending an encouraging text message to a friend, hugging someone or writing a thank you note. It has to be something that you really know will bring a smile to your friend’s face even though you won’t get something in return. Nobody will be watching you “act” in CCTV or you might not even get a response, but you still do it.

Matthew 6:1

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

If you would like to download the Christmas guide ebook, you may download it in Goodmorning girls site as well.

12/12/12

Yesterday was 12/12/12 and since that day only comes once in a lifetime, I wanted to make it meaningful. 

We went to attend my son's school at Perpetual Help Las Piñas for their Christmas Carolfest and I was more excited about their Floating Sky Lanterns afterwards. Of course we had to show support for his dance and watch all the levels present their Christmas number, but it was so worth it since I have't seen a floating sky lantern event before. They turned off all the lights in the soccer field and lighted the lanterns and released one by one. Breathtaking. Of course *sigh* that makes me feel all romantic too (think Tangled).

Anyway I really needed that kind of release and liberation in my life right now. Seeing those lanterns fly away makes me think of my life's direction and purpose for the next year. How I want to forget all the negative thoughts I've had since what happened 2 years ago. I told my husband  I am ready to forgive, forget and move on. If God gives second chances, who am I not to? Why should I let this ruin the rest of my life or make me bitter?

I have so much plans for 2013. My own business, quitting my 9-5 job, renewing this blog, more time for family and people that matter. I can't do that with baggage or any resentment in me. So whoever you are, I forgive you. And myself, too, for being so hard on myself. I will let go and free myself. Just like the lantern flying away, I will keep that light shining in me so that I will fulfill the purpose God has for my life.